Off Schedule...

My life is off schedule right now.  God is purging my life of things he apparently did not want me to have.  The problem with this purging is the Devil seems to be in the details...literally. 

This purge has involved rumors, gossip, aggression, hurt feelings, and stress.  Basically DRAMA. 

I don't do drama...drama upsets an OCD life.  I like to communicate and express things rationally, not have people talk behind my back like we are wishing to be back in High School.

It saddens me. 

I am losing people I assumed were friends, but God did not want them to be.  I am okay with these changes, because I know they are from God and in his grand plan, but I wish it would be done already.

Through this, I love to spend time with God.  I have learned more about myself through this purge and how much I rely on FRIENDS.  I need to have their opinions, I need to have their company, I need their validation.  Not only do I NOT really need these things, but these people obviously didn't have the kind of morals that God wants in my life. 

God is doing this to prepare my family and I for the future.  Strengthening my relationship with the people that really matter.  God is also doing this to teach me a lesson.  I can't let what others do or think affect me.  I can not rely on PEOPLE to make my life complete.  I don't need friends, I should be happy to have time by myself to reflect.  I believe God wants me to focus on my extended family and my Husband, as well as HIM, to fill those voids.  That is what really matters in this life. 

I am writing this testament to let people know what God has done in my husband's and in my life.  He has blessed us immensely.  Things that we didn't understand and were heartbroken about a few months ago proved to be the beginning of this much needed purging.  Although things have been very difficult over the past few days, I can get through it all knowing that it is part of God's plan for me and I have Him walking by my side. 

Not only that, but God is helping build friendships in other, more lasting areas.  He is strengthening our relationship with family members that we were once at odds with.  He is strengthening our marriage.  He is also strengthening our Faith.  We can do all things through him. 

When I was pondering how I was going to handle things, I did some blogging on Christian blogs as well as reading the Bible and some prayer books I have.  Here is the inspiration that kept me moving forward even when I wanted to shut down.

From a wonderful blogger Angie (twothingsincommon.blogspot.com)

From a "One-Minute Prayers for Women" book a TRUE sister in Christ, Darla, gave me:

And, from my daily morning devotionals

(Hearing from God Daily by Joyce Meyers and Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Admitting folly here - I haven't handled things well lately.  I've been sad, angry, and very hurt.  I let things affect me.  GOD SPOKE to me this morning about this whole situation. 

He said "STOP!  This is not how I planned this to affect you! This is not what I wanted for my child.  This was supposed to be good.  A cleanse.  A sign of my love.  Instead you worried about the people.  The people that were causing you pain.  You didn't focus on the GOOD I was doing, but you focused on the devil's details...the method I had to loose because you were so stubborn before".

I literally texted these last two pictures to my mother this morning followed by the words "Oops..."  I haven't listened.  I've worried about myself instead of worrying about God's plan.  My husband has already moved on...accepting that this was needed.  I obsessed and worried. 

Not anymore.  I am so ready to follow God's plan.  I am praying for healing in my heart from the hurt I have endured.  I am praying for the others that are causing this hurt and hope that they will heal from all as well.  I am praying for constant clarity of His plan and for God to continue to be strict with me.  Any followers...please pray along with me.  I know my problems are not as big as most, but I am very sensitive and these things tend to drag me down.  I love you all...thanks for letting me share!!

God Bless!!

Tilly